Tuesday, October 2, 2012

MYSOULONPAPER INTERVIEW BY AZARIA LA MODE


I have been following @MySoulOnPaper on Twitter for months now, and I have to say her tweets are very inspiring. Her words are realistic and I totally related to her advice, it has motivated me, and has definitely enlightened me on many levels. I reached out to her because I wanted to know what got her to this point, I wanted to know and share her journey as to better understand this beautiful woman.


Please read, enjoy and support her………..

Where did the name MySoulOnPaper come from?

Many people ask me this question all the time. Years ago when Myspace was big I created it. I wanted a name that described me and something that was personal, I’ve always written so the name describes my writing style….

I put my soul on paper. I write from my heart so the name fit and it stuck ever since.

In 2006 , I moved to Indiana from New York, I was homesick. I wanted to reconnect with my friends. I also used MySpace as an outlet because I was dealing with a lot personally. Like I said I’ve always written but putting it out for “the world” to see was a first for me through MySpace. One social network led to another. By the time I made it to Twitter, I had a BlogSpot; I had my FB fan page all inspired by me being on Twitter. I make so much of my life public because I wish I had someone like me in my corner when I was going through life.

I want to show others especially women where mistakes can be avoided and to let them know I feel their pain because I endured that pain. I put myself out there to help & inspire others.

What is your objective and what are your future plans?

My objective is to create open dialogue with people, so that they feel it’s OK to speak about their tribulations. I grew up in a family of secrets and non-talkers. Expressing yourself was off limits. You know that famous saying “what’s done in this house stays in this house”, well that’s very damaging to many of us as adults.

As black people, many of us are not taught that expressing weakness is good, because we’re strong. We can’t complain because we don’t know pain like those before us. Main reason why people suffer depression and other issues in silence. I saw how that mentally crippled me so I slowly started sharing. In sharing I saw I was helping others.

My objective is to reach as many as I can and do whatever God has for me to do down the line with. I would like to start a mentoring program for women, write a few books and continue to do what God has gifted me with.

Right now I’m in the preparation stage for the platform I will be in according to God’s plan. The short term objective is to continue to share and plant a seed that will blossom in abundance.

What advice do you have for single Christian women, women who may be struggling between the temptations of the world and focusing on a relationship with God?

My main advice will be KEEP PUSHING forward! Don’t let ANYONE distract you from what you know in your heart!

LET the Holy Spirit guide you! SUBMIT to God and your commitment 1000%! If you deeply understand the value of having everlasting life, making decisions in this world become easy, at least for me they do. We’re human and we make mistakes but this life is temporary. Since becoming a Christian I’ve noticed how much people try to interrupt your walk. The manipulation is crazy. My previous experiences in life have helped me see the tricks early on. The devil is always busy and he usually presents himself in things and people you like/love.

As a single Christian woman men prey on you in large numbers. Be careful who you interact with on these social networks as well. Christian women, who are early in their walk in strengthening their relationship with God, be super careful! There are men who see your “immaturity” as an opportunity. Men of God who are not acting in the spirit will try to get you off your walk. You’re thinking you’ve found a good man and their goal is to get you off your mark. If you are strong in your faith and trust your spirit allow it to lead you.

Back to the social networks, there are many men preying on women. Since most of our interactions are on social networks/online dating these days we have to be super careful. They will take information you share and use it against you. DON’T worry about how old you are, how long you’ve been single, your past decisions with men and who you’ve chosen in the past. Trust God and allow him to mold you. Often times if not all the time we as women set ourselves up for failure because we make decisions with our “world” mind vs. with our spiritual mind. Pray, seek guidance from God and pray some more.

What personal information past – present are you willing to share?

Great question, I ask myself this often. I’ve shared some of my story with my battle with major depression, being a single parent, my journey as a Christian woman, temptations and dealing with men BUT there is so much more. I never intended to share certain things that I have shared through Twitter or my FB fan page but something gets sparked in me and the greater good outweighs how I feel about it. The benefits outweigh my wanting to not reveal. At this point I’m open to share about 90% of my past and present. I’m also dealing with a lot that I’m learning about myself so as I deal with it I may share it. Other people’s pain and agony also inspire me to share my life with them so they can see I’ve been where they have and I made it. I try to tell them I can help them get to where I am they just have to not want to give up.


What has the journey been like with maintaining your relationship with God, how do you stay grounded?

This journey has been AMAZING! I’ve learned so much about myself and that has brought me closer to God. Proverbs 22:6 describes me, Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. I grew up with God in my life. I always knew He was real and I always called on him but I allowed the world to rule my life for years. I thought I knew what was best for me. HA!!!! I was so wrong. I had many warnings throughout my life, many which I ignored so I dealt with the consequences BUT God never let me completely destroy myself because He had a purpose for me He was just waiting for me to stop fighting him. Stop looking to people of the world for comfort.

Once I submitted myself and asked him into my life He has given me such peace. I’m still learning daily and He amazes me daily. I stay grounded through fellowship, prayer, going to church and my hunger to allow God to work my life. I fellowship with many people I’ve met through social networks who I KNOW God has placed into my life to keep me on Him. I’m in a wonderful church called The Journey, which is fitting because I’ve been on one and I’m on a bigger one now. I read my bible often, I pray and I thank God daily for his love.


Looking back do you have any regrets or advice for your younger self?

I don’t regret anything because it has led me to this point. I used to ask WHY me all the time. I used to ask what I have done to deal with so much pain and hurt. When I stopped asking why me and why not me I truly understood all I went through was for what I am to do now. I’m OK with where I’ve been because it allows me to embrace where I am going and appreciate it to the fullest. I’ve been blessed in many areas so I know from many of the decisions I’ve made in the past I could be far worse off BUT God knew my heart and never let me go. What would I tell my younger self, that list is too long

BUT one thing I would say is don’t be afraid to do what you know is right no matter how much is against you, don’t let anyone crush your spirit or dreams.

How did you get so many followers and likes on FB – do you think social network has made more of an impact with the message you are trying to get out there?

A lot of my followers on my FB page, The Soul Xperience, are people who know me personally as well as people who were with me on Myspace. Me being me and open to speak the truth and share keep my page growing. Those who follow me on Twitter also relate deeply to what I tweet. I’m not afraid to share what I have because it’s my truth, you can’t judge me or deter me from sharing it because I’ve made peace with it. I believe most want to do what I do but they’re not ready so they follow me to see how & what I do/did to get me to this place.

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In closing I’m just one person willing to put herself on the line to help the many. I don’t do it to gain anything, I simply like helping people. Early in my life people took advantage of that BUT now I know how to protect myself from being “abused”. Once I release my entire story people will be like wow, I would’ve never known. I feel obligated to do what I do because so many are selfish and care only about them. I care for people too much to watch them destroy themselves because they feel no one understands them.

I know what it feels like to feel alone, like no one cares, like no one loves you, like why do people hate your or dislike you when all you do is good, like why can’t you find love, why aren’t you where you want to be in life, insecure, depressed, suicidal, wanting to give up, thinking God has abandoned you, etc… The list goes on.

My purpose is so much bigger than me. Sometimes I get in my own way but God finds a way for me to let out what I need to let out because he knows the message will be received. If more Christians talked about their struggles they could reach the unreachable. Christians are not perfect and the more they give off that perception the more this younger generation will ignore God and His purpose. Whatever you want in life you have to sacrifice something for it. Today so many focus on the things in the world that are temporary more than they focus on what they need spiritually. Most don’t understand what they need to truly make them happy. Being a Christian and following God’s commandments are truly easy; all He asks is that you sacrifice something for Him.


Living good and doing what’s right is easy when you stop trying to please the world. In the end the world will not be with you. In 2010 I got what I believed to be my final warning from God; I was in a car accident that many don’t walk away from. In the moment I walked away from my totaled car with 2 scratches I KNEW I had to get right with Him because this was it. Many people afterward couldn’t believe I survived after looking at pictures of my car BUT GOD had a plan for me. I got off the path of his plan years ago but at 33 I got back on it. I haven’t been the perfect Christian BUT I’m so far that going back can’t work for me because I feel uncomfortable. I can’t do what I used to because my spirit wrestles with me, not a good feeling. I don’t like the feeling I get when I disappoint God so it pushes me to stay focused.

I am proof that we make life harder than what it needs to be BUT when you allow God in your life it becomes easier in areas BUT believe and KNOW it is harder in others because now you’ve made the devil mad. He’ll send forces to destroy you now but the deeper you get in God the easier it will be for you to stand strong against any of his attacks! God loves you more than anything or anyone so TRUST he will protect you but you have to let Him and do the work He needs you to do.

Being a Christian isn’t boring as some make it out to be. People say oh you’re a Christian you can’t do this or that. What they don’t understand is that we get enjoyment in a different way. Spiritually we are fulfilled. We don’t need to do things of the world to enjoy life. We can listen to various genres of music, we can party and we can do other things, the difference is we just do them differently. We know not to let those things influence us to do things that are not of God. I listen to rap, Nas is my favorite rapper, I can go to a club and just dance and enjoy being around friends, I can hang around non-Christians BUT I don’t let them influence me. I have control over me. I can’t blame anyone for decisions I make. If you don’t drink, smoke or refrain from sex don’t feel pressure or do those things because others are doing them. They won’t pay for your actions, you will. If you don’t feel strong enough to be in certain situations DON’T test yourself or even tempt yourself. I did that a few times, testing myself to see if I could resist and failed! Just ask God to work on you to overcome. You may be strengthened in some areas and function well but other areas you just have to leave alone all together.


You will notice also people will disconnect from you, distance themselves or even talk about you. People talk about me all the time. Those who knew me in my old life even fellow Christians. Some feel I think I’m better than them because I live my life this way or look down on me because I’m open about my struggles as a Christian or because I don’t rant off scriptures, etc…  I don’t pay them any mind because I’ve experienced God and NO ONE can tell me different. I KNOW what he’s done for me. I’m no more saved or less saved than the next Christian. I don’t judge others walk BUT others will judge mine. I leave the judging to God. DON’T let other Christians distract you either! Some of them continue to look at your old life vs. looking at you now. So what you’re a single mother, so what you haven’t been married, so what you have multiple fathers for your children, etc… God loves you regardless! He’s focused on the reformed you not what you were or what you were doing because He forgave you for your sins, the reason He died on the cross so that you can find your way to His Father through Him!

Some people will never let you live down your mistakes or choices you’ve made in your life, DON’T let them keep you from God! That’s the devil working not God in their lives! Don’t let anyone keep you from God if you want to have a relationship with Him!


Even after answering these questions I feel like I’ve released so much and feel freer for doing so.

I hope I’ve helped someone through sharing. God bless you all!

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