Saturday, April 21, 2012


Closed eyes
Visualizing the darkness
You see nothing
It matches how and what you feel
Mind so distorted
In Pain
You don't know how to climb out of this deep hole
Mind scrambled
Body holding you hostage
The least you can do is free your soul
Screams so loud yet silent
Suffering so deep yet invisible
Thoughts so horrific yet disguised
Escape is all you want
Silence is your peace
Freedom is your desire
Keeps you here!
Closed eyes
Visualizing happiness
You see it
Fight for it
Let go of the sadness
Stops you from walking into the abyss
Its not that gloomy
You're not useless
The end seems easy
Staying is too much
Grabs hold of you
Feel it
Embrace it
Receive it
SOMETHING is the reason you need to live
NOTHING is worth your life

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you've thought about it or even attempted it think about this for a few minutes, WHY AM I HERE? In that moment find something that makes you smile, no matter how small and focus on it!!!!!!! That's the reason you haven't succeeded with suicide, you're mind is not all consumed with horrific thoughts. That light in your darkness wants you to fight! No matter what you're going through or who you feel has abandoned you there is something or someone who will be completely crushed you're not here! Ask yourself another question, have I done all I could to help myself? Keeping how you feel a secret deprives others from helping you. How can you say no one cares about you if you don't tell them what's going on with you? If you never share what's going on with people who love you how do you know they don't care? Committing suicide is a selfish act!

When those days are dark they are dark. When you feel hopeless and worthless its so severe you can't put it into words to share it with someone. I'll tell you something even if you give a few words such as "Help Me" someone will. You may have to say it to more than one person but someone will help you. Don't ever feel like you don't want to be a burden. You're not, you have issues that you can't handle or control and you need help. That NOTHING feeling is temporary! The more you wallow in it the deeper it feels. You are LOVED and there's SOMETHING you need to be here for. Don't suffer in silence.

I wrote this piece because it is very personal to me. Give yourself a chance to overcome, you owe yourself that much. You were put here for a reason! That reason is NOT so you can end it in your time, its so you can live in the time you are given. You have purpose, TRUST ME! I can give you 10 reasons for staying here:
1. God loves you
2. I love you
3. You have work to do
4. Your testimony will help someone
5. You have a purpose
6. Darkness disappears in the light
7. You're a part of the solution NOT the problem
8. You don't want to be a memory you want to create memories
9. You smiled today after reading #2
10. You're sitting there thinking about if you did smile. I want to know your answer, I'm not letting you off the hook until I get it. *taps foot waiting*

You are NOT at your end
Your are at the beginning of a new journey called, I'M LIVING LIFE
NOT LIVING my fears or sadness!

If you are going through and feel like I don't understand, these are just words and I don't know how you feel, I was you, I AM YOU! I made it! You


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