I created this post over a year ago and since then I've chatted with many people and even had my hand in dating(LMBO, memories), so I see it fit to remix it a little bit. Since last year I've come across many stories of LDR's(long distance relationships) or folks meeting a great person via Facebook/Twitter as well as other social networks. It's become the new "norm" since so many people are online now. "Meeting" a potential mate has taken on a whole new world. Many people think they have a "basic" list of questions to ask a "potential" and for the most part those questions work but for the one serious about finding a mate you have to get deeper into the mind of the person. You have to find out about their character as well as letting them get to know the real you. Granted online a person can potray themselves as the "flawless" but we all know there are a limited amount of flawless things and often times it has to do with jewelry, LOL. So here are some questions that should be asked that would lead to multiple discussions where you can get to know a person. This is for anyone you meet virtually or in person. You can decide when to ask these questions and on what to do from there.
Good luck but most of all enjoy!!!!!!
FULL NAME(Depending on the age of the person if he is still going by a nickname that is a clear indication of immaturity. If 35 and they're still talking about my name is ____ Gotti/Murda/Ski/Love/Etc walk away now!):
D.O.B.:
HEIGHT:
WEIGHT(Not necessarily a need to know as women especially don't like to admit this but a man may have no problem with it):
SHOE SIZE(May not be a need to know unless you care to buy them some footwear but in that moment you can ask for this info. Ladies don't let that myth fool you either):
ZODIAC(This is not an exact science as to who you ideal mate is but if you're into astrology you know the basic characteristics of a zodiac sometimes is helpful.):
U.S. CITIZEN(This is important to many for various reasons):
IF NO ARE YOU IN PROCESS OF BECOMING A U/S/ CITIZEN? CAN YOU PROVIDE PROOF?:
NICKNAMES/ALIAS(If they have an alias, RUN. Nicknames are cool because most people are given them from childhood but its usually close to what their real name is):
STATE OF CURRENT RESIDENCE(Very important especially for LDR's):
RENT OR OWN?(Shows responsibility, if you don't do either are you living off of someone):
HOMETOWN:
HOW MANY PEOPLE IN HOUSEHOLD & WHO?:
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU MADE LESS $$ THAN YOUR MATE?:
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE NOT THE BREADWINNER IN A RELATIONSHIP?:
MARITAL STATUS(Clearly this is important unless you like dating those who are taken, but if not be diligent in getting a straight answer):
IF DIVORCED, HOW LONG?(This is also important, the length of time since a divorce will help you understand one's reservations/mixed emotions on dating/getting serious or just wanted to take things slow):
IF PREVIOUSLY MARRIED, HOW MANY TIMES & LENGTH OF MARRIAGE?:
IF PREVIOUSLY ENGAGED, HOW LONG & HOW MANY TIMES?:
IF NEVER MARRIED IS IT AN OPTION YOU WOULD CONSIDER?:
KIDS(SEX & AGES):
HAVE YOU EVER USED ABORTION AS A FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL?(The is a point in time to ask this and if you're smart you'll know when):
IF NO CHILDREN DID YOU ALMOST HAVE SOME?(The is a point in time to ask this and if you're smart you'll know when. Emotions can still be raw depending on what happened):
IF YOU HAVE NO CHILDREN WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME?:
QTY OF MOTHERS/FATHERS(This is important it shows a persons' pattern, pay close attention to this answer. It will also allow you to ask the next question):
CURRENT RELATIONSHIP WITH MOTHERS/FATHERS OF CHILDREN(No one wants to deal with drama from an ex, especially one you have kids with):
DO YOU PAY CHILD SUPPORT, VOLUNTARILY/INVOLUNTARILY(Either answer will have a story behind it, LISTEN CLOSELY):
EMPLOYER:
LENGTH OF TIME AT CURRENT EMPLOYER:
HOW MANY JOBS IN LAST 5 YEARS(Shows stability or lack there of):
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?:
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ARRESTED?: IF MORE THAN ONCE, HOW MANY TIMES AND WHY?(If there is a pattern you'll decide if its something you can deal with or not):
HAVE YOU SPENT TIME IN JAIL/PRISON? LENGTH OF BID?(This is not an elimination question as we all make mistakes but you can judge for yourself if this is an issue for you):
DATE OF LAST HIV/AIDS TEST(VERY IMPORTANT):
CAN YOU PROVIDE PROOF OF RESULTS?:
WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO BE TESTED BEFORE HAVING SEX?(NO IS NOT A GOOD ANSWER):
HOW MANY SEX PARTNERS HAVE YOU HAD(INCLUDING 1 NIGHT STANDS)?:
EVER HAD A THREESOME?(This question can be asked for different reasons):
CONDOM TYPE USED?:
EVER HAD INTERCOURSE WITH THE SAME SEX?(This question will lead to other discussions, it may or may not be an elimination question depending on your history or what you're looking for):
HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN STD? WHEN & WHAT?:
EVER SLEPT WITH A RELATIVE, KNOWINGLY/UNKNOWINGLY?(This may not be something you're comfy asking and may not be needed but it happens):
DO YOU CURRENTLY TAKE ANY PRESCRIBED MEDICATIONS? IF SO, LIST MEDICATION & REASON FOR TAKING:
RELIGION?(For those deeply into their religion/faith going into extreme detail is beneficial because so many people "present" themselves to be someone they're not to gain someone they want):
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD(WHATEVER NAME YOU CALL THE MOST HIGH)?:
DO YOU ATTEND CHURCH, A MOSQUE, KINGDOM HALL, OR SYNAGOGUE REGULARLY:
IF NOT DO YOU READ THE BIBLE, QUA'RAN OR OTHER BOOK RELATED TO YOUR RELIGION REGULARLY?:
HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA/GED?:
COLLEGE CREDITS OR COLLEGE DEGREE?:
IF DEGREE OBTAINED, WHAT COLLEGE AND YEAR?
MEMBER OF SORORITY/FRATERNITY?:
MEMBER OF MILITARY, IF SO WHAT BRANCH & HOW LONG?:
TATTOOS?:
HOW MANY AND LOCATION?:
GANG AFFILIATIONS(This can be one's upbringing and/or maybe their current lifestyle. You can decide how important this is to you):
PIERCINGS? IF SO HOW MANY & WHERE?:
FETISHES:
HOBBIES:
FAVORITE COLOR:
FOOD:
BOOK:
SONG:
SPORTS(PLAY(ED) OR LOVE TO WATCH):
HIDDEN TALENTS:
DO YOU OWN A SUIT?:
STATES VISITED:
COUNTRIES VISITED:
SIBLINGS(Finding out one's relationship with their siblings is very important):
POLITICAL VIEWS:
DO YOU VOTE? HAVE YOU EVER VOTED?:
ARE YOU ELIGIBLE TO VOTE?:
DO YOU HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?(Find out the status of the license because you don't want to get pulled over and this person gets arrested, NOT GOOD):
EVER BEEN A VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME?:
EVER HAD TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST AN EX?:
EVER BEEN INVOLVED IN A DOMESTIC DISPUTE? EXPLAIN(This is an elimination question especially if one responds "I hit her/him because I was teaching them a lesson" or if they have stories that create a pattern. A one time incident is possibly excusable depending on the circumstances, we are human.):
HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER?:
FATHER?:
SIBLINGS?:
CO-WORKERS?:
EMPLOYER?:
IN FIVE YEARS WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IN LIFE?:
ARE YOU HAPPY OR CONTENT?:
LIST 5 THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO BUT ARE A LITTLE HESITANT ABOUT:
DO YOU COLLECT ITEMS EX: CARS, SPORTS MEMORABILIA, BOOKS, ETC.:
DESCRIBE YOUR IDEAL MATE:
WHAT ARE THE TOP 5 QUALITIES YOU CAN NOT SET ASIDE WHEN LOOKING FOR A MATE?:
PET PEEVES:
TURN ON(S):
TURN OFF(S):
EVER HAD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP?:
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS?:
HAVE YOU EVER CHEATED ON A MATE?(This doesn't mean they're a cheater, hear the person out):
HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED A MATE'S PROPERTY BECAUSE OF ANGER/REVENGE?:
ARE YOU CONTROLLING?:
JEALOUS?:
HAVE YOU EVER STALKED AN EX?:
HAVE YOU EVER USED ANY CREDIT CARDS OR MONEY OF A MATE'S WITHOUT ASKING?:
CHEAP?:
AN INDIAN GIVER?:
SELFISH?(I'm biased about this question because if one is selfless than you want to RUN from this person. One who is selfish will never admit to it but pay attention to their answer):
ARE YOU STILL IN LOVE WITH AN EX?:
DO YOU WATCH PORN?:
FAVORITE TYPE?:
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WON'T DO SEXUALLY?:
EVER BEEN SO DRUNK YOU WOKE UP NEXT TO SOMEONE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER?:
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?:
ARE YOU GOOD FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX'S?:
DO YOU FEEL MEN & WOMEN CAN BE FRIENDS?: IF NOT WHY?:
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT DATING/MARRYING A WOMAN/MAN WITH CHILDREN?(THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND THEY DON'T):
IF YOU COULDN'T HAVE CHILDREN & WANTED THEM WOULD YOU ADOPT?:
BEST PLACE TO PICK UP A MATE?:
WORST PLACE TO PICK UP A MATE?:
(*The following questions can be asked early on but when things if they do get serious finding out about one's financial situation is important, not necessarily how much they make but their debt and spending habits is a need to know if you plan to go further with them)
*DO YOU HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT?:
*CHECKING?:
*401K/RETIREMENT PLAN?:
*CREDIT CARDS?:
HEALTH INSURANCE?:
DENTAL INSURANCE?:
LIFE INSURANCE?:
CAR INSURANCE, IF APPLICABLE?:
*CREDIT SCORE?:
WOULD YOU DATE OUTSIDE OF YOUR RACE?:
WHAT ARE THE AGES OF YOUR DATING RANGE?:
PERSONALITY TYPE A OR B?:
NAME 3 PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE YOU AND WHY?:
LIST 3 COMMON THINGS I'D HEAR FROM PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOU THE MOST?:
DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN 8 WORDS:
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DUMPED AND WHY?:
HOW DID YOU FEEL AND DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE DUMPED?:
ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENT?:
LONGEST RELATIONSHIP YOU'VE HAD?(This is VERY important especially if you're a long term kind of relationship person. If the answer is under a year find out why):
(*These questions are important because it lets you know and ask more questions about where a person was in their life if any of these apply to them. How they manage life, stress, emotions are things you will get from these questions. Plus addiction is a huge thing to handle!)
*DO YOU SMOKE OR HAVE EVER SMOKED CIGARETTES?:
*WEED?:
*METH?:
*HEROIN?:
*ANY OTHER DRUG(S)?:
DRINK?
SOCIAL DRINKER?:
FAVORITE PHRASE?:
YOUR MOTTO?:
HAVE YOU EVER SOLD DRUGS?:
HAVE ANY ADDICTIONS THAT INTERFERE WITH YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE?:
ANY FAMILY HISTORY OF HEALTH ISSUES I SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT?(This is a question to be asked when things are serious):
WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE?:
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT A MATE GOING THROUGH YOUR PHONE/FB PAGE/EMAILS?(There is always emotion or a story behind this, LOL):
HAVE YOU EVER DATED SOMEONE YOU MET ONLINE?:
AT THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP?:
ARE YOU WILLING TO TRY NEW THINGS?:
DO YOU COOK/ARE YOU WILLING TO LEARN?:
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP/TRYING TO GET TO KNOW?:
FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM(For sports fans you know this is critical, LOL):
IN CLOSING ARE YOU WILLING TO PROVIDE 3 REFERENCES (EX'S):
3 REFERENCES(FRIENDS):
*ASKING A LOT ABOUT ONE'S FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIP HISTORY IS IMPORTANT
NOW I MAY HAVE MISSED A FEW THINGS PLEASE ADD ON IF YOU WANT TO. THIS IS JUST AN OUTLINE THAT CAN BE REVISED AT ANYTIME. PEOPLE FORGET WHEN DATING ITS A PROCESS AND YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL AFRAID OR HESITANT TO ASK ANY QUESTION NO MATTER HOW OUT THERE THEY ARE. IF YOU VALUE IT THEN YOU NEED TO ASK TO SEE IF THE "POTENTIAL" DOES AS WELL. NEVER SETTLE! WHEN YOU SETTLE YOU COMPROMISE AND USUALLY END UP IN A SITUATION YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IN. WHEN ASKING ANY ONE OF THESE QUESTIONS OR ONE YOU ADD ON TO THIS AND THAT PERSON HESITATES YOU KNOW THEY ARE EITHER GONNA LIE OR TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING. IN THAT MOMENT LISTEN TO YOUR GUT FEELING. IF YOU MEET SOMEONE WHO ANSWERS THESE QUESTIONS WITHOUT A BLINK YOU MAY HAVE FOUND A GREAT MATCH BUT BE A LITTLE CAUTIOUS WE ALL KNOW THE DEVIL HAS MANY DISGUISES. NO ONE IS PERFECT SO IF ITS ALL YOU WANT TO HEAR STEP BACK AND EVALUATE. ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS IT DOESN'T USUALLY STEER YOU WRONG.
2011©LMJ~SOUL~MYSOULONPAPER™
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