YOU CAN'T DENY IT

Everyday you think about it
You want it more and more
You want the feeling, the emotion, the connection
Of that you're sure
BUT sometimes when you want something so bad its doesn't happen when you want it to
So to make it easier you try to trick your mind
Telling yourself NOT to want it, NOT to think about it
STOP hoping
Subconsciously you can't wait for it to happen
All around you its happening for everyone else
You start to look within
You wonder about yourself
Is there something wrong with you?
Is it a mental or a physical thing your body is going through?
Even when you try it STILL doesn't happen
What's wrong?
You keep yourself from crying by laughing
How long can that last?
You get emotional when you see someone experiencing what you want
You smile to prevent your tears
You put up a front
Your heart aches because you don't think you're capable anymore
So you slowly but shortly close that door on any opportunity for it to happen
You stop craving
Stop reacting
You hoped it would happen THIS time because you worked so hard for it
Felt you deserved it
Tried to hold in your disappointment
Couldn't hold back the tears
Gave up
Walked away
Erased it from your mind
Told yourself your heart will be fine
WITHOUT it
STOP lying to yourself!
You can't deny it!

SOUL~MYSOULONPAPER™
LMJ©2003

This is one of those poems where you think you have an idea of what it is about BUT it can be something different  every time you read it.