Thursday, April 15, 2010


I used to wake up in a cold sweat

Screaming and fighting trying to connect

My dreams to my reality

In visions I had that never resembled me

I’d be scared all the time

Never liked to be closed in

Withdrew from the world even from friends

I could never put pieces together

Or put a face on what I saw

My visions were so flawed

It took a long time of flashbacks and triggers to realize the connection

And how I subconsciously knew how to protect it

It changed me in a way I never thought possible

Became someone different right in front of you

Fear and pain has taken over

Now strength and freedom hid in a place where insecurity and nervousness now live

I never thought this to be the cause of my “about face” or really looked at what was taking place

You stole something from me that can’t be given back

Things like trusting people and a real sense of security

It’s taken a long time but I’m partially back on track

I no longer wake up in a cold sweat because I no longer dream


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